My 3 year old needs dreadlocks because if she doesn’t I’m not sure I can make it through another morning of brushing the mop. Seriously can you imagine Haven in dreads, I think it would be wonderful! Today is also not just any day at school, today is picture day. Dun, dun dun. Yes picture day. For this mompreneur picture day always comes as a surprise to me even though our beautiful school does well at giving us information. Certain things just happen to get looked over around here especially when it is the big launch week at YPAC (Yorkville Performing Arts Center. So in true Emily Weber fashion I pull together some outfits that look decent, don’t have paint stains on them, and somewhat coordinate with each other. I give myself a pat on the back because I am now 50% done with picture day prep. You can guess it, that’s when the other 50% of picture day prep went south.
I can rock the mornings if all of the children get up together at the same time as we are all in the same stage of the morning. We wake up, we have breakfast, we get dressed and we watch Jake The Neverland Pirates while I throw my hair in a side bun and slap on some mascara. For those of you who don’t know my husband and I have three blessings we are trying to survive ages 4, 3 and 1.5 so system and consistency is the game we play sometimes we win sometimes we lose. This morning I lost. I lost my rhythm, I lost my mind, which made me loose my cool, which made my 4 year old loose her cool, which scared her younger brother who lost the chair underneath his feet smacking him straight down on his face (remember its picture day, of course this happens), to which we lost time, then Haven’s shoe and God forbid my phone! We just unravelled and we hadn’t even walked out of the front door yet.
We get out of the front door and my Brinlee decides she was going to take loosing her cool to a whole other level and she lost control of her ever loving mind and if you have ever had a strong willed, type A, over emotional four year old lose control you feel me right about now. It was bad and all she kept doing is screaming, “I don’t want to do a station” and all I could do was pray, “Dear Lord save me, save her and get us to school in one piece with peace.” We got there in one piece but peace not so much. All I can say is I am thankful for Peaceful Pathways Montessori and Miss Sandra who always makes you feel understood and not alone. She was able to get the girls’ teacher Miss Nichole whom I adore to come to the van in car line and help me out. Praise Jesus for this woman! We got everything translated as to why Brinlee was so upset on the way to school and what the heck a station was and the girls and Gev where hand in hand on their way into the school. Deep breath.
Call Brian. Through tears this loving man of mine listens to me as I fully let go of all my fears and failures of being a mom and a mompreneur and I don’t know why God would ever trust me with this, I obviously suck at life. Yep, ladies I went there. Thankfully, I have him who gently listens and says that I don’t suck at life and reminds me that our four year old took four dance classes yesterday, didn’t have a full dinner, and stayed up late with her buddy over. In fact his words were, “Emily, I’m not shocked at all.” Normally my response to this would have not been pretty but you know what I wasn’t pretty all morning and I needed to turn this ship around. He was right. We pushed her hard yesterday and I expect a lot from her as a four year old. After all she is still just a little. Grace extended and forgiveness granted for everyone playing the Picture Day Prep game this morning.
The real healing came though when I called my saving grace of a friend Katie Owings who always puts things into perspective for me and for that I am thankful. She reminded me of the love my kids have for both Brian and I, for each other but most of all for Jesus. She reminded me that God gifted me to be a wife and support my husband who is transitioning and mending in health, a mom of 4 with 3 littles under the age of 4, to run a beautiful business that is impacting the community, to serve in Haiti and create cross cultural relationships and opportunities for others, to dream and vision so others can have sustainability and that my kids are watching and seeing us serve others and work hard together to grow God’s kingdom, she reminded me that they will forgive themselves because I forgive myself and that they will extend grace because I extend grace to them. The last things she said was do what you do, Emily. Share. So here is me sharing.
You are not alone my mama friends. Whether you stay at home, work from home, run a business inside your home, run a business outside your home, work in corporate, run 3 businesses while building 2 non profits and a tiny house, I feel you and I stand with you! You are loved, you are enough just the way you are.
Sometimes ya win and sometimes you lose but ultimately you can always win if you make a lose of yours a win for everyone.
Googling three year olds with dreadlocks,